D/s offers an incredibly rich emotional landscape, one so bountiful it is hard to remember all of it unless written down. How do you document your journey?
One of the first questions I have asked any Domme that I have communicated with is whether they keep a diary of their sessions and interactions with their subs. The answer in every instance has been “yes”. Can you imagine? Just the thought of these diaries out there containing the most intimate thoughts of so many Dommes, sublime guides to the Valhalla of sub-space…oh, just the thought makes my insides turn to goo. I can hear them. All of them, whispering seductively to me, telling me their stories. How beautiful.
What great books I am sure they would all make! Leaving out of course any details that might identify or hurt… But gosh, to think that we are sitting on a global treasure trove of such scale and incredible eroticism is something that makes my heart skip two beats. Please Mistresses, please, for the love of everything supreme, publish them some day. The world needs to hear your voices, the world needs to hear from submissive men, to know that it is okay to feel this way.
Not to demean my own diary, because I love it, and keeping it is very important to me, but I do not intend to see lot’s of different Dommes in my life. The fewer the better. That isn’t to say that some day I might, but right now, I am in a place where I really only imagine submitting to one. If I were to submit to another right now, it would be only in the presence or guidance of the One. That is not to say that I would not wish to enjoy the company of another Domme, to go out to dinner or lunch, to meet in a casual, non-session way. I like that idea very much, because I respect and love pro-Dommes especially, so much, and in particular a certain kind of pro-Domme, that making their acquaintance helps me feel in a community of people…as if I have joined a secret society, a society where we know that women do truly rule, and that I can express my respect and devotion without any hesitation.
I was able to do this once so far with a Domme who I respect very much. We enjoyed a meal together, and I was able to ask her questions and talk to her about things I was feeling in relation to the One, and it was a great way to get feedback and to process my emotions without bothering Mistress, but also as a way to get an “independent view”. It was a lovely experience and one I should very much like to repeat, though I am learning to ask Mistress first, as she has been a wonderful guide in this regard too.
My diary, therefore, is about the journey of one. A Domme diary would be both a journey of Domination, and as a sub, to be able to crawl into the story of a Domme and be there all cuddly and warm as She takes us on her own journey to finding and developing her power, wow, how beautiful. But I am curious too about all the ways a Domme has helped a sub find sub-space. What great stories and adventures came along.
This blog is a little bit of a diary, but in truth, it is not nearly so raw as my actual diary. And yes, I do wish to ask Mistress for help with my own diary. Many of the things we talk about together, whether they be elements of kink or just life, are very often also the subjects I grapple with on this journey. My first promise to Mistress was to hide absolutely nothing from her, even if I thought it was not appropriate. It is a commitment of respect to be completely trusting and open, and it also allows us both to tackle any feelings or thoughts that might not be appropriate. My commitment to learning about how D/s will fill out my life is complete, and with every passing day I am more and more certain that my fate lies with the One, and I am very grateful for Her guidance and support.
Do you, as a sub, also keep a diary? Do you share it with your D/? What do you include in it? What has been most helpful for you?
My own diary is very anchored around “sessions”, following dates. I am discovering that each “session” has really been a watershed. Each time, there has been something really important that has transpired, whether in thought, play, or conversation…some of which has occurred in the moment, but many others have needed to steep for some time after. All of the “fallout” or aftermath of these have become a part of my diary entries. And like any diary, they follow date order.
This is what I include in my “standard template”
- Date: reverse order entry so that they stay in order on my computer (YY-MM-DD and a reference to place when it was a session or a theme if not)
- Place: what city and venue we met in both for play and non-play
- Present: who was there
- Goals: what it was exactly that I hoped to achieve in the session
- Pre-questions: things that I have been dying to ask and wanted to wait in person for
- Action: a concise summary of what we actually did. Just the facts
- Analysis and Interpretation: Impressions and thoughts provoked. Things that challenged me, areas for development. It is this section which is longest and often has many open threads. These in turn generate separate journal entries, or letters to Mistress.
- Next Steps: Mistress is fond of giving me next steps, and so I keep a log of them as an easy reference to make sure that I am doing what she is asking of me in a timely manner.
It would be wonderful to hear from any D/ or /s on both the shape and content of diaries kept. What do you record? What is it you find most helpful?
Most humbly and respectfully. PLJ/girlieboy.