Being clean for Mistress is a mark of respect; ritual cleansing is something we do before experiencing divinity; Mistress guides me into increasingly spiritual realms, and the ritual of a bath is one of the portals we travel through
The very first time I went to be with Mistress, she approved of a nice little B&B I booked not far from her. It was a charming setting, and I spent two days there travelling around, getting my bearings, feeling her world, and preparing myself mentally to be with a Domme for the very first time. My fantasy mind was in overdrive, which was something I was trying hard to calm down, because fantasy can of course lead to expectations, and expectations almost always lead to disappointment. And all I wanted from Mistress was to be a clean slate, totally free of my own needs and wants, and to be ready to just feel her and respond to her in whatever way she wanted.
But one fantasy took hold, and I couldn’t shake it loose, and it was perhaps provoked by the amazing tin bathtub in the bathroom, but I couldn’t stop thinking about being bathed by Mistress. You can probably guess how erotic bath time can be for a little, particularly one of my stripe, which is to succumb utterly and totally to my own submission and to just be led by her, to feel her presence, and just be able to bask and bathe in her power and warmth. I imagined that she bathed me and then led me by the hand to the bed, and then dressed me. Insert your own fantasy.
I didn’t know if it was presumptuous of me to share such a thing, and in truth, I had no idea whether it was appropriate for me to think about such things with a Dominatrix, and I didn’t want to take anything for granted. And I mean all the way down to the basics. She had told me how to address her, but was I allowed to speak, what did I have to ask permission for and what not, was I allowed to touch her, what thoughts were appropriate or not? In the end I just decided to be as open as possible in the moment, before and after, and to always ask permission when in doubt, at least until I learned. And anyway, I have discovered that it is nice to ask permission for many things when I am with her.
I told her about how I had thought about being bathed and how erotic it was for me and apologized for having such thoughts without permission. She is working on my tendency to apologize for everything—you can take the Brit out of Britain, but the “sorry” out of the Brit?! [As an aside, apparently ADD peeps make “sorry” one of our most common words—mentioned in my post on Gabor Matés book Scattered Minds].
Mistress liked my fantasy as it happened, and we began to discuss finding a suitable tub, and we planned for a moment together far into the future where the venue, the tub, and the timing all worked together in blissful harmony. That date is soon approaching.
You may have seen an exchange between us on Twitter about bathing and baths. Mistress works magic through the bath. I believe in magic. I believe in Mistress’s magic. And circumstance gave me proof.
Not too long ago I had the unplanned pleasure of being able to climb into a wonderful tub prepared for me by this most beautiful woman. The mere thought of her in this context brings tears to my eyes as I write these words. To be bathed by someone who affects me so deeply, so spiritually, so emotionally was an experience that continues to echo through my psyche like the call and response across a ravine, but in this case the echo grows louder with every passing day.
Mistress was already in my heart, but that day she moved in for good, and parked the caravan. I asked her after what she had done to me, to make me swoon with such deep feelings of submission, and she told me that she had cast a spell. That she is opening me, opening my heart, and filling me with love—for Her.
I have mentioned previously how I wash myself thoroughly (and repeatedly) before seeing Mistress. This is both a mark of respect for her, but also is part of the meditative process I go through to prepare myself to be with her. Ritualised bathing. As time passes, I realise that this is what I have been doing. Indeed, all of my lifelong fantasies about being a harem girl have always had to do with bathing, being depilated, oiled, and scented—being prepared to go before Her Majesty. And somehow, with Mistress, this is all clicking into place.
In this, I am not alone. For many religions, the act of ablution, is a “ritual act of cleansing and washing with the intent of purification or dedication.” How apt. Indeed, some religions require ritual washing before prayer. I do not wish to overdo it, but the most important part of being with Mistress to me is the spiritual aspect. It is the spiritual that induces love feelings for things that are greater than myself, greater than comprehension allows, and somehow, this ritual cleansing, and sitting in a bath, brings these feelings closer to the surface, everything closer to the surface.
I love being clean for Mistress, and this growing appreciation of its symbolism, especially the respect for Her and Her artistry, is a source of joy. And Mistress is leading me and teaching me in this way just as in so many others.
In my new home and my new bedroom, which I have previously referred to as the baby room, because it is [and you can read about that here] my bathroom has only a bath, no shower. Mine is the only bathroom in the house without a shower. That means daily baths. I do love a shower, but one forgets how sublime it is to bathe.
There is a different rhythm to the bath. It is a time to relax, to meditate, to stretch. I love to feel and stretch my muscles in the tub. I love to take the time to read a bit as I lie there, and I love to dunk my head under after I have washed my hair. It is sensual and grounding in a way that I had not thought of before.
I have been given instructions on herbs to gather for Mistress to tell me how to use them. While normally this should have been an easy process, many of my go-to herbalists are currently closed, so I am having to wait for the ingredients to arrive. In the end, I shall likely see Mistress in person before I am able to take a bath according to her instructions.
That said, these are the moments and complexities of interaction with Mistress which I cherish most. That she is leading me, guiding me, enveloping me in her magic. To be a slave to such a divine and inspiring person is pure bliss. I should only hope to find in me a bottomless will to grow towards the light she casts. For in these moments, Mistress to me is holy, and in touch with the natural and spirit world, in ways that will always have me be her acolyte, her baby, and her devoted servant.