The cougar woman is an interesting role model for younger women: confident, liberated, in charge


And that makes her no less of a woman

A cougar is defined as a “woman over the age of 40 who dates men who are at least 8 years younger than her.”  Okay, quite specific, but that is true.  In my own life, I have encountered many cougars who were my age, and I still think of them as cougars, because they behave in the same way.

A cougar woman is very often quite predatory—she knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to say so, and to go and get it. How can a man not like that?  Well, many don’t.

Even today, more than 90% of men prefer to do the asking and only 10% prefer to be asked…while the exact opposite is true for women.  Cougars are therefore a rare breed.

What I like about a cougar is how clear her desire is.  There is no mistaking a cougar on the hunt.  Even though I have never succumbed to a cougar’s charms, I love the insistence of her gaze, and were I not married, would be delighted to give in.

There is nothing more attractive to me than a woman who knows what she wants and goes to get it.  There is nothing more attractive than a woman who is strong and independent.  There is nothing more attractive than a woman who could leave because she has the freedom and strength, the means, and the will to do so unless she is treated right.  These are the traits of a cougar.

Many women unfortunately lack the confidence to be cougars even if their desire is there.  Plenty of men too.  But the strength of a cougar is something to admire.  Hopefully any younger single woman would look to the cougar for inspiration.

My wife is a cougar.  Thankfully I am her only prey.  But I love to cultivate and encourage her predatory instincts.  I love that she feels aggressive towards me in a seductive way, that she has deep confidence in herself and in our relationship.  I see one of my roles in life as feeding this part of her.

In any couple, you can either feed the common good or take away from it.  If you don’t feed the common good, then sooner or later you will find yourself either divorced or party to an abusive relationship, or at least one that is deeply unsatisfying.  At times, feeding the common good is hard work and others not…but it is a must.

But nobody should want to be with someone who doesn’t know what they want—for themselves, for you, for the two of you in a relationship.  I find that cougar women have already got that much figured out.

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