Sending out Small Signals of Submission and Being Rewarded for it


You don’t have to be “out” to be submissive

Today I went to a business meeting in Italy.  There were five of us in a law office.  I was the only “male” present.  We sat together in a board room, all around a large table.

As the discussion progressed, I noted that I was the only male in the room, and it felt very nice.  I reached under my chair and found the cantilever that allows you to adjust the height of the chair.

I lowered my chair all the way down, so that suddenly I was at a height that was lower than everyone else.  Being tall, I had been higher than everyone.  My SO laughed.  The lawyer who was chairing the meeting looked at me and asked, “really?”

“I feel more comfortable this way,” I said.  They all looked at me, smiled politely, and the meeting carried on.

I asked appropriate questions as I should, and my SO relied on my expertise on the topic to read the contracts and other papers.  In the end, it was a successful meeting.

As we left and said our goodbyes, one of the counterparties to the transaction said to my SO, “compliments on the husband.”  She was referring to my deferential and polite manner.  My wife thanked her.  I have never felt so proud.  The glow of her compliment has been coursing through me ever since.

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