One of the most fundamental and important ways that D/s has inserted itself into my life is through my daily routine. ADD people are apparent night-owls, not wishing to go to bed early and be alone with their untamed minds, until they are so tired that they literally pass out. For my entire life this has been my truth.
One day, a Domme that I was interacting with told me that it was time for me to go to bed.
“But it’s only 6:00 pm Mistress.”
“I want you to get ready for bed. Now. Take a shower, and text me when you are in bed.”
I did as I was told, and doing so made me feel very submissive, and very wanted, and very safe and comfortable. When I texted her at around 7:00 she asked me to write her a love poem and to tell her all the ways that I loved her, that I needed her.
This soon became a nightly ritual, kind of like a bedtime story, only it was about how I worshipped her. She had me change the settings on my phone so that it effectively shut off every day at 8pm, no longer able to receive messages or calls, and going dark.
The flip side of this is that my day time schedule also changed. I was to wake up every day at 5:00 am, to prepare myself a coffee, to write, and to get ready for my day. At 6:30 I was to exercise for an hour. After that it was to work.
I came to rely on this schedule, and found that it gave me tons of energy, focus, and was hugely helpful to my disordered state of being. After she stopped being my Domme, the schedule stuck. I told a new Domme that I was exploring submission with about the schedule and how much I liked it.
“Good, you’ll keep it. But we will add some things to it.” Specifically, she added stretching to it. Every night, 30 minutes of stretching before going to bed.
This new Domme was very much more present in the psychological aspects of life and D/s than the sexual parts, which was better for me. But it also meant that I was dreaming about her by day and by night, and missing her physical presence. She had me buy a baby blanket and her perfume, and she asked me to spray the blanket with her perfume and to sleep with it at night, so I could smell her. She also told me to buy one of those weighted blankets, so that I would sleep under it and feel her presence on me, holding me down, calming me. I did, and it worked. She also had me come up with a warm milk drink to drink at night, and that also had the desired effect.
She is a very special person to me. But I realised I needed to be able to see my Domme in person, on a fairly regular basis. In time, I may end up with two Dommes, one who is active in my daily life but who lives remote to me, and another, who works with her, but beats the dickens out of me from time to time. We shall see. But what I do know is that I am happier when my watch and my phone tell me what to do and when to do it, knowing that it is my Domme (s) who have shaped this aspect of my life. Wellness and happiness start with self-care. These beautiful women are caressing me and grooming me and making me feel loved and better about myself just by insisting that I live a structured life.
Sound small? You try getting through life with ADD and gender dysphoria…the less time I have to ponder philosophical questions, the better off I am, and every now and again, having a strong, confident woman to clear out the cobwebs is hugely healing. Discipline is freedom. Structure is happiness. The more I submit, the stronger I become, the better I become, the more productive I become, the happier I become. Is it any wonder I love my Mistress like a drug? She is, quite literally, a drug. Her presence in my life stimulates the dopamine receptors of my brain, which if you know ADD, is a part of what is missing for us.
God bless Mistress and all the women in the world who help people like me by just being open-minded, receptive, and warm humans who know that some of us need something a little different.