As I have set out to learn about my desire, or rather my need, to be submissive, I have inevitably contemplated corporal punishment. But the idea of punishment is a struggle, not because I don’t crave it, but because I don’t want to do anything to deserve it.
There are many people on either side of the slash in the D/s world who are “brats”. This appears to be an entire branch of D/s. That is not me. I can’t imagine ever doing anything consciously to annoy a Domme, it seems to defeat the purpose of submission in the first place.
It’s nuts right? But I’ve been agonising over this for years, and just can’t get my head around doing it unless there is a reason. I know the whole BDSM aesthetic is fetishized, but I can’t get excited by doing something just because it is a fetish—it needs to be real.
Yes, the sight of a dominant woman with a whip in her hands is hot, but if I don’t deserve it, why whip me?
Enter the excellent blog of Silken Claws, a lifestyle Domme who has written intelligently on many aspects of D/s both on her blog and web. Her post “On Sadism: The Narrative of Punishment” had a profound effect on me. Totally liberating. That a dominant woman might whip a sub because she wants to, because she enjoys it. Because she’s a SADIST.
And there’s the rub. If my Domme enjoys inflicting physical pain and I enjoy receiving it then we are peas that belong in the same pod.
For the first time in my life I feel like I can kneel before a woman, head bowed, holding a whip in my outstretched hands, and just say, “please.”